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Duitsland

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Thuis word de Duitse taal onopgemerkt en onbewust afgewisseld met de Nederlandse. Een vreemde Mischung van woorden. Soms betrap ik mijzelf op het grammaticaal verkeerd bouwen van zinnen. Moet ik zoeken naar de juiste Nederlandse uitdrukking, als ik een Duitse wil uitspreken. Het voelt dan alsof ik half Duits ben. Volgens sommigen altijd al geweest.

Het zou zomaar kunnen. Misschien is het mijn verleden. De Limburgse roots van mijn moeder. De plek in Nederland waar het dialect meer Duits dan Nederlands klinkt. Of het enthousiaste  ambassadeurschap van mijn vader. Misschien zijn het de ski-vakanties. Of de Duitse lessen van nu mythische figuren als Herr Timmerman of Frau Holl. Misschien de periode dat ik in het zuiden van Duitsland woonde. Misschien de weergaloze ervaringen op het Oktoberfest.  Misschien allemaal.

Het land, de taal, loopt als een rode draad door mijn leven. Steeds vaker voelt het aankomen als een tweede thuis. Vertrouwd. Een plek waar je je op je gemak voelt. Je de weg kent. Of vindt. Een prachtig land. Net zo mooi als Nederland. Bijna.

Duitsland. Het land met de mooiste verassingen.  Mooier dan ik had kunnen dromen.


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